“WTF is she talking about?” some people have whispered, behind my back.
“She’s got this interesting title for her blog, but then she talks about her cat, organizing the mail, and now…. feeling guilty about visiting a different church.”
I stand still and listen.
“Give me a break! Either say something about the meaning of the title – or change it! I like hearing about the smells of spring – and an early hint about a magazine piece – but give me some substance, some real meat!”
I’ve been expecting this. I knew I should explain, or at least give a hint about this title. Courage is what I needed and this reaction is what I was waiting for.
A skeleton – just a bare-bones suggestion about where the title comes from. Nothing detailed, nothing direct – at least not yet. I take a deep breath.
The Weston Magazine Group has a piece of mine in the current issue. http://issuu.com/westonmagazinegroup/docs/greenwich-cc-issue_46b/59?mode=a_p
As I said in the short, second blog post, called “The Title”, it’s an edited version of chapter one from my memoir. In the post from March 15th, I allude to what went on, beginning in August of 2005, and then hobble away, as if it’s too horrible, too embarrassing to elaborate further, which of course, it was.
When someone I don’t know well asks, “What’s your memoir about?” my mind races around for the best answer. I’ve come up with the following, depending upon the level of my courage at the moment and my guess as to the reaction the person might have. I don’t want to have anyone, gaping eyes stuck open, run away in horror.
- It’s about a time in my life that was very difficult.
- It’s about two years or so when something very bad happened to me – and no, nobody died.
- It’s about my experience when Federal Agents forced their way into my home and arrested my husband… for internet child pornography.
- It’s about what happened to me afterwards.
- It’s about how the Feds threatened to arrest me because I should have known what he was doing, even if I didn’t know. (I didn’t know.)
- It’s about the support I had from the astonishing people in my church. (See post from yesterday, as I did a little “church shopping”).
- It’s about the Feds threatening to drag me before a grand jury, calling me a “person of interest”.
- It’s about them threatening to seize my house, because the child pornography was found in the basement, the barn and throughout my home.
- It’s about my family and how all this affected them and how they helped me get through it all.
I guess that’s enough for today. I hope I haven’t scared you away. I hope that you want to keep reading and now that you know the skeleton that long ago left my closet, you’ll still be my friend.